Monday, September 14, 2009
Public Service Announcement
Surgeon General’s Warning on Horse Hair
In a press release today, the National Institute of Health has announced the discovery of a potentially dangerous substance in the hair of horses. This substance, called "amobacter equuii" has been linked with the following symptoms in female humans:
1 reluctance to cook,
2 reluctance to perform house work,
3 reluctance to wear anything but boots,
4 reluctance to work except in support of a horse,
5 physical craving for contact with horses (may be an addiction, Beware!)
If you come in contact with a female human infected by this substance, be prepared to talk about horses for hours on end.
Surgeon General's Warning: Horses are expensive, addictive, and may impair the ability to use common sense.------ --
I have been suffering with amobactor equuii for decades!!
I have also been known to wear the most disgusting clothes (beet pulp splatter, green slobber, eye boogers, etc.) around the barn and house and then forget I have them on and go to town!
I have been known to eat corn from their feed and drink water from their buckets.
I have been known to haul excessive quantities of hay and chop ice in bitter cold for their comfort while drinking cold coffee and eating stale candy bars for sustenance.
I have been known to drive for untold hours through the night to feed them so they didn't have to wait til morning.
I have been known to budget for dental care and footwear for the horses while I skip the dentist and wear second hand boots.
I'm sure that I'm badly infected.